Cold and Broken Hallelujah
by MyanSanidee1823
Summary: An attempt at a songfic... character death at the end... Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen


_"He makes me happy and I want to be happy"_ her voice echoed through his mind as if she were truly there in person. _"But"_ she had paused _"I want you to be happy too."_ were the words that escaped her lips not long after. He could never be happy now, she'd left with that pathetic excuse of a racer. As he lay on his couch surrounded by bottles that once contained a slow killing poison, he remembered all the times he could have told her, all the words he could have used or actions when he had been mute. He took another bottle of poison and popped off the top then took a long swig before a memory of their teenage years in Sandover took over his vision.

In the memory, Samos was lecturing the two teenage boys, though neither one was listening. Daxter was busy mimicking the old sage while Jak's eyes had landed on the old man's mechanic daughter. She turned away from her most recent project and smiled at the green-blonde elf. Her smile was his favourite thing in the world then and still was. As the memory continued he remembered wishing he could have spoken to her, to tell her he was madly in love with her. He could remember the feeling of his heart racing and the blush spreading on his face as she smiled. The now older Jak blinked before taking another swig of alcohol. His eyes drifted closed and another memory played on his eyelids. It was just days before the trio of teenagers and Keira's father had been pulled through the rift gate. Jak remembered sitting on a chair in Keira's work shop, waiting for her to finish tinkering with the old artifact they'd managed to haul back.

_"I've heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord but you don't really care for music, do you?"_ He heard her sweet melodic voice quietly carry from behind the precursor artifact. _"It goes like this the fourth, the fifth the minor fall, the major lift he baffled king composing Hallelujah."_ Jak smiled at the soothing sound of her voice. She soon came into his view and caught him grinning. She'd smiled back and asked why he was smiling. He had only shrugged in reply, smile plastered on his young face. Jak remembered so well what happened next. As if in realization, Keira had placed a hand over her mouth and gasped _"You... didn't hear.."_ her face had turned a bright pink as she blushed. Jak stood from the chair, still smiling, and hugged her small frame, his body shaking in a silent laugh. Keira slapped his chest in mock anger before joining the laughter. The memory faded once more and the more recent words played in his mind.

_"I want you to be happy too."_ how was he supposed to be happy when the love of his life was now engaged to the racer who he loathed so much? Jak couldn't shake the memory from his head, not even the precious memories of Sandover would be able to block this more recent, toxic memory from corroding his mind. He took a swig from his already empty bottle then let it crash among the others. There was a knock on the door of his small home. "Hey Jak? You home?" the voice of his long time best friend rang loud and clear as always. Jak shifted and tried to stand. As he did, the bottles at his feet clanged against one another and the room began to spin. He soon found himself back on the couch. The door knob jiggled a bit and soon enough his elf-again red haired best friend replaced the oak door. "Jak, buddy what's... what happened?" Daxter's eyes were filled with shock as he took in the empty bottles that surrounded his green-blonde best friends deathly image. "Hey Dax" Jak slurred, a silly drunken smile plastered on his face. "Did you 'ere? Keiras gettin married." he snorted as Daxter made his way across the small living space. "Yeah, I heard big guy, whats with all the booze?" the red head began to pick up the empty brown bottles. "Just celebratin' Dax, thats all." another snort escaped him. Daxter continued picking up bottles and took them to Jak's kitchen. _"Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you. She tied you to her kitchen chair, she broke your throne and she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah."_ Jak slurred as Daxter returned to the small living room. "What was that buddy?" Daxter tilted his head a bit."Keira sang it when we were in Sandover." a warm smile overtook his face as he remembered. "C'mon Jak, you can come stay at my place." Daxter sat beside Jak and lifted the hero's arm over his shoulder. "Nah Dax, you ... you go home to Tess, tell 'er I said hi." he let his arm slip from the small-framed red head. "Jak, I can't leave ya here buddy, Yer a mess!" the former ottsels eyebrows shot up in concern. Jak waved him off "Ah, I'll be fine." he sighed drunkenly. "I've been through worse right?" Daxter lowered his head in defeat. "All right big guy, I'll be back later ta check on ya kay?" Daxter stood and strode over to the door. "I love 'er Dax." a fragile voice came from behind the smaller male. "What was that Jakkie Boy?" Dax spun on his heel. "I... I love Keira, Dax." Jak tried to stand, this time more successfully. " I have since we were teenagers." Jak wavered a bit on his feet as Daxter stared blankly at his best friend. "I already knew that big guy." Daxter stood beside his best friend to help him stay balanced.

_"Maybe I've been here before, I know this room, I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew you I've seen your flag on the marble arch love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."_ Jak spoke in a hoarse, almost whisper as Daxter attempted to steady him. As the last words rolled off his tongue his door opened again. Jak smiled and then collapsed to his knees, Daxter kneeling beside him. Keira raced to his side as Jak slowly lay back and smiled at her and his best friend. _"There was a time when you let me know what's really going on below but now you never show that to me, do you?"_ Keira sang gently as Jak's eyes slowly fell shut. "I love you Keira, so much." he interrupted her."I hope you and Razer have a happy future." he said with his final breath. "Jak?" Keira's voice filled with concern as she looked down at his now gentle, boyish face._"It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."_ Daxter sang as Keira leaned down and sobbed in to Jak's unmoving chest. "Good night, Jak." Daxter said as tears fell silently from his eyes.


End file.
